Walking in Forgiveness

It has been a month since I have blogged about the state of my grief and perplexity over the onslaught of stories revealing daily accusations or indictments of sexual harassment and misconduct in our government, our entertainment, and our businesses. My first post was written emphasizing that histrionics and accusations do not make a thing true. My second post was to remind those for whom it was true not to let an event from the past keep them from stepping into their future.

This post is for both parties: those accused - whether justified or not, and those who accused -whether justified or not. Here is a bedrock of truth: Some sins have been done to us and some sins have been done through us. We do not need others to label, judge, or condemn us. We can do it well enough ourselves. We all can say that we have been done dirty, and if we are honest, we also have all used words and actions that have left others battered and bruised. Again, let me reiterate ... some things have been done TO US and some have been done THROUGH US. The result is the same - shame and self-condemnation. Shame and condemnation are gender neutral; shame and condemnation know no economic boundaries and refuse to stay within the partitions of social or racial divisions.Thankfully the same is true of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not saying that pain has not been inflicted; it is stopping the pain from ruining our peace and joy today. Forgiveness is what will heal us ... not press releases, fakebook conversations, or "Me, Too" campaigns. Whether guilty or not guilty, we need to extend forgiveness to each other as well as to ourselves. Forgiveness is investing in tomorrow instead of borrowing from yesterday. This is a message that I choose to live out daily. Can you say this to yourself while looking into a mirror?

I refuse to minimize Christ's payment to set me free from sin and condemnation by continuing to live and embrace that same condemnation.

Therefore, I am taking off the label of "victim".

Those things that happened ... happened. Regret them, but don't allow those actions define who we are or who we will become. Let TODAY define itself.

The same freedom is true for others. I am not defined by events of 10, 20, or even 40 years ago. Neither should I define my brother or my sister in condemnation. Can you also say this in front of a mirror?

I refuse to minimize Christ's payment to set him free from sin and condemnation by continuing to label him with that same condemnation.

Which is harder ... forgiving yourself or forgiving another? In giving and serving forgiveness to others we are freeing ourselves. In breaking chains of guilt and shame off others through our forgiveness we break the power of those chains off of ourselves. In our journey toward individual, national and cultural healing, let us have openness and tough conversations; but let it be with the goals of stopping the hurt - both present and past. Forgiveness for all must be part of the process.

Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tenderhearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ. (Ephesians 4:31-32)